Counsel For Hope
|Posted on 20 December, 2019 at 13:25|
After doing some research and meeting with several of my clients I have come up with the two main reasons for addiction:
The first is Biological: People obsess and complete the compulsion to try to feel normal because our brain chemistry is out of balance and needs the necessary chemicals to balance out the brain. People will try food, gambling, drugs, shopping, sex, alcohol, or doctor prescribed medications to balance the brain to feel normal.
The second reason why people use is Trauma related: People use to mood alter, to escape, to take oneself out of reality of the past or current traumas or circumstances, so they don't feel the enormous pain of the reality of abandonment and/or abuse.
|Posted on 25 November, 2016 at 13:55|
Neurotic shame is a sense that a person feels defective and flawed as a human being and is the core of all addictions. The neurotic shame is toxic because it does not show our limits as humans, but it is a state of being, a core identity. It is a sense of worthlessness, and falling short as a human being. This toxic neurotic shame is a rupture of the self with the self. Toxic neurotic shame can be described as the feeling of being isolated and alone.
Because toxic neurotic shame is the core and fuel of all compulsive/addictive behaviors, there is a need to mood alter to escape one’s current reality and that creates life damaging consequences. Because the addiction creates life damaging consequences it also creates more toxic shame and the cycle continues.
A person that has toxic neurotic shame measured their worth from the outside instead of from the inside. The cycle starts with a false belief that the person is flawed as a human and the person is a mistake. Then the distorted thinking processes that no one could love the person as they are. The person needs something outside of themselves to feel whole. The person then use mood alteration and acting out. They experience the life damaging consequences of: hangovers, blackout, overextended credit cards, bankruptcy, disgust with body, caught in adultery, caught by the law, disease, divorce, and burnout due to overworking. Any thought or behavior can become addictive if it is used to mood alter and allow a person to escape reality.