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Counsel For Hope

Mind, Body, and Spirit Counseling                                               

Available in Lincolnton or Statesville, NC

Now Offering Psychiatric Medication Management 

Call Today (704) 201-9063



This blog answers some of the common questions that are searched online about therapy and how symptoms  show up in everyday life that can be helped using a holistic approach to healing.

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Co-Dependency and

Posted on 5 November, 2016 at 16:05

Co-dependency can serve as an alternate addiction or distraction. People that are co-dependent may use relationships to try to deal with depression or anxiety. In the long run, co-dependency is self-defeating, since the few things that cannot be controlled is the will of another person or the environment around us and how things work out. As mentioned in previous blog's, co-dependency in a relationship is when one person identifies their worth based on someone else. Many times, the codependent person chooses relationships where the other person needs to be rescued and this creates a dependency to want to fix/control the other person. Over time, a co-dependent relationship becomes increasably defined by the identification with the other person. If there is a period apart from the target or they cannot control the target, the co-dependent experiences extreme anxiety and/or depression. For the co-dependent, the relationship takes the place of self-love. Despite the negative consequences of depression, anxiety, anger, resentment, loss of other friends, physical stress, and poor job performances, a co-dependent cannot let go of this attachment to the target.

Some of the Patterns of Co-dependency

Posted on 30 October, 2016 at 16:55

Some of the patterns of codependency are: Individuals are controlling because they believe that others are unable to take care of themselves; They typically have low self esteem and a tendency to deny their own feelings; They are excessively compliant, compromising their own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger; They often react in an oversensitive manner, as they are often hypervigilant to disruption, troubles, or disappointments; They remain loyal to people who do nothing to deserve their loyalty.

Co-dependency- A Loss of Self

Posted on 22 October, 2016 at 21:00

There has been a significant amount documented about co-dependency. It is the loss of self. A person losses their inner self and develops a false self. They require happiness to come from outside of them. There is a need for others to make a co-dependent happy and they require others to self validate their worth. It has been said that co-dependency is rooted in internalized shame. Shame can be healthy or toxic. We are all co-dependent on each other to some extent, however when we cross the line, and feel that we are more than human or less than human, that is when co-dependency becomes a problem.