Counsel For Hope
|Posted on 13 November, 2016 at 11:00|
This is a summary of common actions, feelings, and thoughts addicts, abusers, and co-dependents have. They have difficulty making decisions, judge what they think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough, value others' approval of their thinking, feelings, and behavior over their own, and do not perceive themselves as lovable or worthwhile persons. They seek recognition and praise to overcome feeling less than, have difficulty admitting a mistake, need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and may even lie to look good, are unable to identify or ask for what they need and want, and have trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries. Addicts, abusers, and co-dependents believe people are incapable of self-care, try to convince others what to think or feel, offer unsolicited advice and direction, and become resentful when their help is rejected. They try to use lavish gifts, favors or sexual attention on those they want to influence, they demand that their needs be met by others, use blame and shame to control, adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes, use recovery jargon to control the behavior of others, and pretend to agree with others to get what they want. In general addicts, abusers, and co-dependents have low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, the need to control, fear, abandonment, use relationships to comfort or numb their pain, minimizes, denies, and blames to protect the relationship, and the relationship becomes the addict's abuser's, and co-dependent's primary focus. They have difficulty identifying what they are feeling, lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others, mask pain in various ways, such as anger, humor, or isolation, and they experience significant aggression, resentment, and negativity.
Categories: What is Co-Dependency?